There Are No Park Rules Against Being an Asshole

Disrespect is not a hanging offense... mostly.

"Excuse me. That guy is standing in front of us and we can't see the stage."

He was on a seven on the agitation scale. He was ramped up, apparently sitting while the Selena Tribute unfolded, staring at the back of some random guy's head. The dude in question was having an oblivious ball.

"It looks like there isn't a seat for him. I can ask if he'll move, though."

"Ask? Can't you make him sit?"

I took a second look. There were 12,000 people in the park. It was packed like a fat man's foot in a child's sneaker. The offending party was standing in a wheelchair seat (one with no chair) next to what appeared to be friends. He wasn't acting up, he wasn't creating a dangerous situation. He was merely standing in front of this one guy whose seat was about eight feet behind him.

"Not really. Sorry. There are a host of rules here in the park, but there isn't a rule against being an asshole."

"So you can't make him sit?"

"I can request that he sit but I can't make him."

"No rule against being an asshole, huh? Maybe I make him sit down."

"There is a rule against that, I'm afraid."

Moments later, the asshole decided he'd prefer to sit and moved on. Maybe less asshole and more situationally unaware. Problem taken care of. A little patience and non-reactionary response does wonders. The complainer was happy to have his view unobstructed but obviously disgruntled by my response.

I figure in any cohort of human beings, regardless of size or ethnic makeup, there is a small percentage of assholes. Law of averages, right? Give me a thousand people in the park there to enjoy JazzFest, there are going to be at least fifty who are so self centered and angry that they just can't help themselves but offer a heaping pile of disrespect and annoyance to the rest. Like the park, most places do not have a rule against someone exercising his or her undeniable right to behave like an asshat. Disrespect is not a hanging offense. It's not even a misdemeanor in most cases.