7 Comments
User's avatar
Charlie Newman's avatar

...but...

1. All billionaires are evil.

2. So are all non-billionaires.

3. Everybody lies all the time.

&

4. Trust is a deadly virus.

At least that's what the little scrap of paper in the fortune cookie told me in confidence...

Expand full comment
LavenderBlueMama's avatar

Good morning, Don R! Thanks for the pep talk, good sir! 😉

Off to conquer the day as I “collapse forward” under the weight of my armor of skepticism, shield of sarcasm, & spear of verbosity, while attempting to stand partially upright & yet appear aloof & nonchalant.

(A snarky voice in my head just scoffed at my so-called verbosity & called me “a blueprint for the Freakin’ Tower Of Babel.”)

Having instant access to worldwide “radio ga ga, radio blah blah” every moment doesn’t help matters. Spend several hours in any internet rabbit hole, whether it’s something I’ve sought out intentionally or some random absurdity gifted by the laughable all-knowing algorithm, & the possibility exists that I might emerge from said hole (ew) nearly convinced of anything. Ok, not ANYTHING…

Therefore instead, as a protective measure, I tend to start each day with the premise that humans are mostly idiots (myself included), with occasional moments of charitable clarity. And sure enough, by the end of most days, nothing has happened to convince me otherwise.

What shall I do with my moments of clarity? Write a satirical opera based on “The Hunger Games?” A novel that finally explains the mysterious circumstances surrounding the marionette goats in “The Sound Of Music?” Any productive endeavor whatsoever?

Surely as a human I am capable of worthwhile achievements & altruism whether personal or on a larger scale. But I most often find myself sifting through the ideas of legions, via the device that rarely leaves my person.

I’m not complaining; the fact that I will never again have to endure squint-fatigue while trying to decipher the microscopic alphabet in The Reader’s Guide To Periodical Literature is reason enough for me to appreciate my phone. But it is a bit overwhelming some days to separate the wheat from the chaff.

On the other hand, perhaps it is entirely chaff. More contemplation is required… thank you for your highly ponderable post.

And for your public service reminder to steer clear of red-clad women in bars, lest I be tempted.

Expand full comment
Charlie Newman's avatar

" I tend to start each day with the premise that humans are mostly idiots..."

You are more generous than the species deserve...imo...

Expand full comment
LavenderBlueMama's avatar

Lol, yeah I get it. One, ya caught me on a good day. Two, I’ve spent a lifetime wrestling with the horrific realization & aftermath that the same Dad who taught me to love music, was respected at his job & church, & was actually the more reasonable understanding parent, was the one who repeatedly abused & assaulted me.

Having to find a way to continuously reconcile the good & evil in a person that I lived with made me adept at compartmentalization & also pretending like everything was fine.

On a bad day, I hate everyone & assume that everyone’s a predatory, self-centered asshole.

In an attempt to not be completely unhinged, I try to balance myself by thinking that every human I meet has the capacity for both goodness & evil. Their choices moment by moment are what determine the outcome of whether they help or harm others.

Expand full comment
Charlie Newman's avatar

Indeed, like you, I think we all have plus/minus, light/dark, whatever within us. The choices we make are as often easy as they are difficult and the consequences of those choices...well, who knows?

Expand full comment
PMK's avatar

Love this!

Expand full comment
LavenderBlueMama's avatar

Lol, that’s one huge ass fortune cookie!

Or alternatively, the same people who created The Reader’s Guide To Periodical Literature have infiltrated the Fortune Cookie factory & managed to fit all that on a paper scrap.

Expand full comment