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Charlie Newman's avatar

The thing about being the center of attention is this: if you look at the universe, everything is rushing away from the center, so being the center of attention guarantees you a heapin helpin of alone time.

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LavenderBlueMama's avatar

I am usually the one acquiescing to whomever is in the center to make sure they remain there. In my spare time, I keep busy contemplating my state of bloated overstimulation in relation to the center.

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Charlie Newman's avatar

A wise strategy

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Jackie Volbrecht's avatar

That is the truth! Beautiful!!!!

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LavenderBlueMama's avatar

For some reason today when I edit my comment, it leaves the unedited one & adds the edited one with the new time. So I deleted the prior one, but sorry if it keeps happening & I miss it. I edit A Lot.

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LavenderBlueMama's avatar

Boy howdy, Don R., you just stirred up an argumentative sing-along amongst the voices in my head with this one. No worries, my inner Greek Chorus debate team is apparently wide awake & rarin' to go.

In response to this post…

Voice One: “You’re right, you're right, I know you're right," (Carrie Fisher, "When Harry Met Sally").

Voice Two: Yes, but how else are we gonna fill the void?!"

Voice One: [Singing] "Makin' a livin' the old hard way; takin' & givin' my day by day. I dig snow & rain & the bright sunshine, draggin' the line..."

Voice Three: [singing] Draggin' the line, bwap bwap!

Voice Two: Goddammit, quit singing. Everything is not best expressed in a song! A song is not a solution.

Voices One & Three: [singing loudly, in unison] “I FEEL FINE, I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT PEACE OF MIND..."

Voice Two: Imbeciles.

Jessica Tandy: “Honestly! Are you trying to irritate me in the middle of an ice storm?" ("Driving Miss Daisy.")

Voice One: Ok, ok, rein it in sisters, we have fulfilled our quota of quotables, back to the topic at hand.

Voice Two: Jessica Tandy In the HOUSE, ladies & gentlemen!

Narrator from "The Twilight Zone": What you have witnessed here is real & not the raving delusions of...

Voice from "The Muppet Show, 'Veterinarian's Hospital'": “…a quack that's gone to the dogs."

Voice Two: Jesus Christ, we're off the rails.

[Pipe organ chords start & all voices turn in unison, staring at me like The Children Of The Corn]: There is no right. Fill the void, fill the void...

Outside Observer Me: I gotta get outta here.

Voice Three: Wait, the Waffle House has COLESLAW?!

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May 6Edited
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Charlie Newman's avatar

My kingdom for an excellent slaw...

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LavenderBlueMama's avatar

I regret to inform you that I’m not a fan of slaw for one reason & that reason’s name is Hellmanns & don’t think you can win me over with Miracle Whip either. Whoever thought that it was a swell idea to concoct recipes consisting of vegetable bits floating in mayonnaise soup should be forced to ingest the “salad” my Granny made where instead of vegetables, she substituted fruit & nuts. It had a name, but apparently I’ve blocked it out. All y’all mayo lovers can have my portion for eternity.

But even if there was such a thing as an “excellent slaw,” I am beyond certain that you’d not find it at Waffle House. We’ve lived in our city almost 22 years & never once been to Waffle House, even though we are gluttonous swine when it comes to all day breakfast menus. But we can see it as we drive through town & it looks highly sketchy, as if it were waiting for it’s big break someday as the movie backdrop for the scene: “homeless person observes pivotal drug deal & gets a new life handed to him in the witness protection program.” Not to be snobs, but we’ve chosen the upscale route of ordering takeout from IHOP. 😎

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LavenderBlueMama's avatar

😎 Shhhhh. This emoji is me incognito. No details if you please. I know nothing, see nothing, hear nothing. If asked, I’ll say you were “just the coffee boy.” 🙉🙈🙊

“I don’t know him. He was just the covfefe boy.”

— AKA Presidential Self-Pardon #432.

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Charlie Newman's avatar

Mum's d woid...

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Charlie Newman's avatar

<GRIN>

Miracle Whip is meh at best. But I like mayo a ton. Duke's when I have a choice.

Waffle House...where coked up low-class disco daddies drive in their mufflerless Trans Ams at 2 a.m.

That said, I've met more than my share of dealers in Waffle Houses when the need hit.

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